Hello All,
Sorry for the large lapse in communication for the last month or so. I contracted Giardia at the beginning of November and have only recently found the motivation and strength to sit down and write a blog post. I'm finally feeling better and the start of the harvest season has left me with an abundance of free time.
A lot has happened since my last post, so let me bring you up to date.
Giardia sucks, if you don't know what it is, google it and feel free to laugh at my expense
Am 12 pounds lighter because of the Giardia and my meager diet of spinach and rice is not beefing me back up
I sucked it up and bought a second hand Nokia N70 and subscribed to an unlimited internet plan through MetFone so I can use the phone as a cell modem with my computer
Legitimately I was busy teaching for a solid three weeks, but the Cambodian school year is effectively over now that all the students are in the paddies harvesting rice
Learned to harvest rice
Biked through Angkor Wat temple complex for a thirty kilometer race and finished at 1hour 14minutes and 20seconds
Well I guess that's about it, other than teaching I am pursing Khmer language tutoring, I am tutoring my co teacher in guitar, and am trying to remember which water basin I can drink out of, so I avoid poisoning myself with arsenic. My host mother finally saw fit to inform me that the water basin I've used to fill my water filter with is not indeed benign rain water, but ground water loaded with arsenic. A little heavy metal never killed anyone, right?
A day in the life of a PCV:
One of my fellow English teachers approached me the other day and asked me to come to school during lunch to review/edit his CV and cover letter for a job being offered by the Australian Embassy. Following a brief scan of the papers placed in front of me:
“You do know that the name Tanya is a girl's name, right Ratana?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you're addressing this to Mr. Duckworth, but the name in the advertisement is Tanya Duckwork, Director of Security, Australian Embassy.”
“So Duckworth is not the family name? I should put Mr. Tanya?”
“No Ratana, what I mean is, you should address this letter to Ms. Duckworth, since it is a girl.”
Wrinkled eyebrows and beads of perspiration on a brown brow stare blankly back at me.
“Duckworth is the family name, but Tanya is a girl's name in English. You will insult her by addressing her as Mr. Duckworth. To make a good impression you should probably use Ms.”
“But Ben, Mr. Duckworth is the director of security. I don't know what kind of name Tanya is, but shouldn't a director be a man?”
“Well in the West Ratana, we believe that women can do the same jobs that men can do. In the US and Australia any job a man does, a woman does also. There are policewomen, women construction workers, and even women directors.”
Wrinkled eyebrows and beads of perspiration on a brown brow stare blankly back at me.
“So it says here that you're applying for the 'vacation' position, don't you want to say the 'vacant' position?”
“Why would Australia make a woman the director of security? Don't you have to be strong to be a director of security?”
“In the West Ratana, women do the same jobs that men do, and sometimes can even do things better than a man.”
“Haha, do things better than a man, like what?”
“Well...hmm.... I guess orgasms, they've got us beat on that one for sure.”
Wrinkled eyebrows and beads of perspiration on a brown brow stare blankly back at me.
“Moving on, I see under 'interests' you have futball, reading good books, and cockfighting...”
“Ah yes, these are my hobbies. I like to play futball, read good books, and train my cock to be strong!”
“Is that a fact? Interesting...hmm... let's put 'literature' there, and are you sure you really need to let Ms. Duckworth know about cockfighting?”
“Oh yes, it is my favorite hobby and I have prize winning cock. My wife proud of it, and it brings us lots extra money.”
“I'm sure she is plenty proud Ratana, but most Western countries do not like the idea of making animals fight each other until they die. On a CV it might look bad. It is considered to be inhumane. Do you know the word, inhumane?”
“Yes, yes, I know this word, but you have boxing in the West, and the boxers are hurt and bleed. What's the difference?”
“Well the boxers do not fight until they die, and boxers can retire whenever they want. Can your bird retire whenever it wants to, or does it have to fight when you tell it to?”
“Oh I see, yes, yes, yes, my cock has no choice but to fight when I tell it to. But this is no problem Ben, because I train my cock everyday and I make it very big and strong.”
“Hmm... I'm sure there are many Citadel cadets who share that view with you Ratana, but if you want this job, omit the cockfighting and please do not tell Ms. Duckworth about your cock, even if it wins prizes.”
Yes, that conversation actually happened. Concluding our lovely little chat I learned that he had just gotten drunk off of rice wine with our school director. Not a bad gig, huh? You can skip work and get loaded with your boss, then badger a Peace Corps Volunteer in to fixing your CV and cover letter while ensuring that all the corrections made will not be remembered.
Part two of this encounter involves Ratana traveling to Phnom Penh the next day on his moto, getting blitzed with a friend, and swerving all over the city attempting to find the embassy, only to realize that in his drunken stupor the CV had flown out of his portfolio. Poor Ms. Duckworth now has accumulated half an application (more paper for the trash) and I wasted a couple hours trying to help someone who doesn't know how to help himself.
And that's a day in the life of a PCV. Let's not all rush to the local recruiting office now....
Ben,
ReplyDeleteCousin Tom here (ask your mother). I've finally caught up by reading all your blogs. I lived in Thailand for two years in the last century and really enjoyed it and the people. Sounds very similar to me. Tell your mother you are wearing a helmet. I'm glad to see the little mopeds are still around. They were a lot of fun.